Sunday, September 17, 2006

Being the massive tool that I am, I've been trying to draw connections between the fugly mind melt of bands like Violent Students, Air Conditioning, Lambsbread, Homostupids, Pissed Jeans and Blues Control for a while now, and I'm starting to see why "fuck genres" is the word on the street these days, but the one question I keeps asking my self is "Who takes lead?" Which one is the porridge that Goldie Locks chose? Which band is the drunken lout weaving around the overpass with a dented baseball bat, making sure he makes eye contact with everyone he passes, cause he wants them to SEE.
Thing is, it's probably gonna be whichever one you're listening to at the time. Right now, it's Lambsbread, and they're probably the closest to some magikally marked up art squall, but this one just reeks of thuggery. S'called Smelly Harbor and it makes me want to dock, cause you know it's the good kind of smelly. The band name could be a reggae reference, but by reggae reference I mean stoned, and by stoned I mean Sonny Sharrock and Abruptum getting electro-shock.
Next up, Violent Students. I know I've gotta mention Gibby Hanes and John Maloney, but the singer grunts out smoke trails in a manner all his own. As for the music, if you wanted to hear a jammier Brainbombs buried under an avalanche of psych-goo, here's your goddamn chance. You wouldn't pass up a good chance when it's staring you right in the face, would you? That'd be fucking stupid. Violent Students aren't stupid though, just violent. The music doesn't stop. There's no dynamic build or waft through space before this shit comes together, it just goes. And then, right at the end, they fuse the fucking Beverly Hills Cop soundtrack with Mr. Mister's "Broken Wings" and a drunk ape, just in case your sac wasn't bruised enough already.
In this company, Homostupids are pretty meat and potatoes, but the meat is human flesh and the potatoes are grenades. (What?) This The Glow EP is about four minutes of instant gratification, like real early Black Flag and real early Black Dice playing chicken in their tour vans. And then Kevin Bacon ends up looking like the hero, but just cause he got his fucking shoelace stuck. Still, the best scene is when Bacon first bumps into that other dude in the hallway. Shit gets a little tense and Bacon, aka Soul Sizzla, busts out "Do they sell men's clothes where you bought that hat?" He and dude face off for what seems like an eternity before cracking the inevitable simultaneous smiles and embracing as best friends forever.


Blogger 200lbu said...

Wow, so it really is true that they just hand out pharmies like chicklets up there in the land of Gentlemen of Horror? unbe-freakin'-lievable.

P.S. -- Max Milgram = Roi Pearce

P.P.S -- Fucked Up are the best thing to come out of your 'country' since circular bacon.

11:12 AM  

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